In terms of effecting my outlook on philosophy and spirtuality no one has had a greater effect on me this year than Alan Watts, an English writer, philosopher, ex-reverend-cum-Buddhist-scholar and gentleman.

Let me explain why, firstly although it could be argued by that portions of his material are not entirely unique I find that his vocal delivery style is. This man is the opposite of Chomsky in this area, he can make me laugh and make me think.

“We are sick with fascination for the useful tools of names and numbers, of symbols, signs, conceptions and ideas. Meditation is therefore the art of suspending verbal and symbolic thinking for a time, somewhat as a courteous audience will stop talking when a concert is about to begin.”

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I am just after watching “The Magic Of Jesus” a program on Channel 4 were two illusionists attempted to “perform” some of the miracles which were attributed to Jesus in the Bible.

These included raising a corpse from the dead in a morgue, feeding 5000 football supporters, walking in a tank full of water and curing a blind person.

All in all the illusions were pulled off brilliantly and my only complaints are about the hosts. Christ were they annoying! I felt like throwing my shoes at the TV screen on more than one occasion.

Other than that it was a great piece of television and I would have really appreciated it if they had actually explained how they carried out the tricks at the end.

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You might be surprised to hear that there is over 1 billion different hells in the Universe. That is right! Each religion and each seperate sect has its own pit of damnation. Moreover just today I received a black envelope in the mail, with a CD inside which had the following recordings from hell on it.

• The Baptist Hell. Probably the worst hell of them all, it is where Jesus sends you if you believe in evolution and science even if you are a Christian! Oh ye of little faith listen out for the monkey sounds!
• The Buddhist Hell. Nothing in the Buddhist hell is quite what it seems. It is where earth-bound demons write and preform tributes to Rory Gallagher 24 hours a day in the key of B flat minor.
• The Hell For The Irish. Contrary to it’s name, no Irish humans reside within the Irish Hell. Instead it is where evil leprechauns and banshees live, where they are constantly subjected to flat Guinness, Daniel O’Donnell LP’s and Gerry Adams.

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Oh dear God it’s that time of year again! I’ve always found New Year’s to be somewhat depressing. Alas! Only another 50 of them to go and that’s if I abstain from McDonalds and cheap whiskey.

I’m not usually into making resolutions, I haven’t done so since I was a child. However since 2005 was a bit of a crap year all around I think I will this time around. Let me see. Where do you start?

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I recently read an interesting two part article over at Shadows of Divine Things entitled “Is God the Cause or Creator of Evil” and it got my brain pulsating a little.

Is God really the Creator of evil and if so does it matter remotely? Well firstly lets address the former. In the aforementioned article the author argued against God being the mastermind of evil with the following proposition.

To declare that since God is the creator of everything, and evil is a part of everything, thus God created evil, is a belief which was held by the Manichees, and Augustine emphatically denied this belief. His counter argument would look something like this:

God created everything.
However, evil is not a thing (it is the absence of a thing).
Therefore, God did not create evil.

I would counter this by first questioning whether evil is a “thing” or not. Being an anal creature by nature I decided to use dictionary.com to acquire a sufficient definition of “thing” and…..

thing
An entity, an idea, or a quality perceived, known, or thought to have its own existence.

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This has got to be a joke. Mothers Against Noise are supposedly an organisation dedicated to spreading awareness about a “new” musical genre called Noise which is apparently tearing up what’s left of our hole-ridden social fabric.

So let’s get this straight, Noise is new? Has no-one ever heard of Neubaten? If my memory is not deceiving me they have been active for over 20 years. A quick search on Wikipedia seems to indicate that noise music has been going on for a lot longer than that.

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Since I was a child I’ve always suspected I was ultimately destined for the lake of fire. Ach well! Listed below elow are 10 key signs to look out for which may indicate that you too will be swimming in molten lava after death.

1) You do not chew food like other humans. In a recent survey compiled by Christian Weekly it revealed that 86% of heathens do not chew humanely. This may or may not be due to bad dentistry. Or it may be due to the fact that your jaw is preparing itself for an eternity of knashing.

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I refer you towards this site. It records how a young man was foretold of his own death by an ouija board during a seance with a group of friends.

Now assuming this is a true story and that the ouija board works through mind alone, is it possible that these three people died simply because they thought they were going to?

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Over the past month I have gradually become more and more infatuated with Google’s new 3d map application “Google Earth“.

What’s so good about it I hear you murmur? Well you can zoom in on any number of cities and see aerial shots of the area. Wanna see the Great Pyramid from several thousand feet in the air? With Google Earth it’s pretty much a doddle.

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Ever wanted to have your own personal Jesus? Now you can!

Simply create an img tag as shown below using the exact format and substitute your name/username in for mine.

<img src=”http://www.ihategod.net/jesus/Matt.jpg”>

You should end up with something similiar to below!

Earlier this week it was announced that Belfast would host the first same sex “civil partnership“. I was rather pleased to see it happen but what shocked me was the gall of the Free Presbyterian protestors outside. Several of them held up banners which quoted Leviticus 20:13 i.e.

“If a man lies with a male as he lies with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death. Their blood shall be upon them.”

So what’s your point Matt? My point is that the Bible also labels heterosexual fornication as an abomination. Don’t believe me? Read the passage below from I Corinthians 6:9-10

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The Truth About Hell!

by Big Godly Matt!

“And he thought to himself “God where are the mince pies, it’s Christmas and I’m starving” Matt : 8:14

What you’re about to read might be hard to believe, but stick with it! It will make sense eventually.

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