The Ipod and Jesus
I just found this fun article over at The Register about what Jesus would have on his iPod.
I find it slightly worrying that the majority of people who took part in this and gave a positive answer believed Jesus would listen to Christian Rock.
I do not wish to generalise, but in this case I will. I dislike Christian Rock. I think it is the most mediocre and uninspiring of all musical genres and it can only be redeemed through sudden and permanent rapture.
If I were Jesus I would actually put on some life-affirming tracks, like “What A Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong or Johnny Cash’s version of ‘Hurt’.
Y’know something with a little substance and not with the usual vague, ambigious and often bloody cryptic lyrics of the contemporary God-Rock Bands
Oh praise be to the Rock
And forth we shall rock
Unto the valley
We fall and bawl
And haul crosses
Across golden fieldsAnother Damn Song About Crosses by Rock-4-God
Now God the Father is another matter entirely. I get the impression He’d be into a bit of Metallica, Frank Zappa and Motorhead. Something with a little bit more testostrone.
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January 26th, 2006 at 4:30 pm
I’d listen to Marilyn Manson if I were Jesus!
yeah, testosterone is a good thing. Something most Christians seem to lack. Christian rock sucks like no o ther music on earth. Ecxept maybe Cajun music or bluegrass. Gah!
They’re doing the rest of us a favour somehow, I’m sure..
January 27th, 2006 at 6:15 pm
Anyone who could walk on water would listen to Mozart (who’s birthday it is today). If he listened to anything close to contemporary it would be some old Motown, some Zepelin and obviously Pink Floyd.
January 28th, 2006 at 6:54 am
I think Jesus would like to listen to The Jesus Lizard.
January 31st, 2006 at 10:31 pm
I find the idea of Jesus listening to Christian rock vaguely disturbing. It seems like the ultimate show of narcissism, Jesus showing off all the songs about how great he is he keeps on his iPod.
February 23rd, 2006 at 9:12 pm
I like Cajun and bluegrass.
March 5th, 2006 at 11:43 pm
oh! God listen to ozzy osbourne , him , marilyn manson and who knows maby…slipknot XD
mmm pretty sure he likes ashlee simpson , hilary duff , good charlotte , my chemical romance and those kinda bands.
August 18th, 2006 at 11:57 pm
I’m not sure he has good taste in music, so most likely he’d either listen to some MTV crap, cause he can’t tell good music from bad music, or and more likely he wouldn’t listen to any music at all. You see, music is about harmony and an ability to appreciate it is about harmony as well. God may be the perfect one, if he at all exists, but harmony is one thing he lacks for sure, which is simply obvious sinse he’s no stranger to agression and jealousy strikes.
August 27th, 2006 at 4:48 am
He would be listening to the Cure or something Goth or Industrial. Truly a twisted guy, claiming to be the son of God, yet dying like a wussy wimp on a stick instead of smiting his enemies down with his righteous power; electing instead to self-suicide. He seems to be the type who likes torture and self-denial not just in the physical, but emotionally as well; thinking that in death he can take away all sins, past and present for all, buy sacrificing himself. Peace and love for all and ‘Oh, woe is me..’
Manic-depressive bipolar delusional self-aggrandizing suicidal hippy crap! He would listen to music by Ghandi if he could.
March 7th, 2007 at 3:45 pm
I think that God doesn’t exist. Jesus was an actual person, but he did not perform miracles and he did not rise up from the dead. Mary had sex with Joseph and they named their son Jesus. If there really was a God, we would only be allowed to listen to Christian music. I don’t like Christian music. Christians are bigots. Real music is Heavy Metal
March 19th, 2007 at 2:52 pm
Jesus would probably have all Christian music on his ipod. Personally, I dont like ipods. I play cds/tapes/vinyl records. I enjoy a lot of Heavy Metal and I think that religion bashing is really awesome. Christians are a bunch of bigots that hate atheists/satanists. Christians can talk bad about atheists but if an Atheist speaks the truth about Christians, they get antagonized by evangelists.